"Fearless Leader" Struck Down

By a tummyache. Your "fearless leader" was struck down early Saturday morning by an awful tummyache. When it got really bad, an ambulance was called and he was taken to the hospital, where they gave him a pain killer and proceeded to keep him awake all night doing tests and sucking his blood. They weren't able to find the cause, but SOMETHING they gave him (they don't know what) caused the pain to go away. Or it went away on its own. After dutifully  charging him LOTS of money and plugging up all the holes they put in him, they sent him home Monday, with no recommendations except to see his "primary care doctor" on Wednesday and to stop taking NyQuil to get to sleep. Can you believe they actually had an ALARM set up so if his feet touched the floor they could drop everything and run in and make sure he didn't "fawdowngoboom?" The pain hasn't come back and he will resume his work irritating liberals, on Tuesday (Oh, yeah. He's walking just fine, if a little slowly).